Sunday, November 13, 2011

Car Talk 2011

This has been the Year of the Car. Mine spent all Spring in and out of the shop -- new tie rods, a CV boot, and too many other things to count. It has to head back in soon for brakes, a serpentine belt, and a suspension system. I'm just happy it's held out this long, but the worst part  is, it's clearly contagious.

A few weeks ago, I got a text from the BFF that her car had quit about 75 miles from home, in the middle of the interstate. Though this is (not so secretly) my worst nightmare, I tried to pretend to be calm and helpful, finding her mechanic's number and making sure her Triple A package had the 100-mile tow plan, which is when she texted back, "I will just maybe live here. Forever."  I had to admit, this seemed like a reasonable plan. Sure, nobody wants to live at the Flyin' J truckstop. But people do.

While I called around to describe the engine symptoms and try to get a verdict, the tow driver picked her up. An always-look-on-the-bright-side-type, she was heartened to discover he had "both Metallica and Five Finger Death Punch in the cab," and she seemed downright elated he was letting her smoke. She thought it was a good sign that he called her "sweet pea," as in "you wait right here sweet pea," while he went to find the guys who were manning the weigh station.

I responded, "I think those might be the exact words of the Mechanic in The Hills Have Eyes."

It wasn't til this weekend that she told me she'd almost threatened to run off with him, after he'd enthusiastically described his considerable assets to her, including, but not limited to,  "a paid-for motorcycle, a paid-for boat, and a paid-for 79 Camaro." 

I said I was just surprised we're all not dancing at her wedding right now.

"PAID FOR!" was her answer.

"Which is exactly how he'd describe you post-wedding," I said.

"A 79 Camaro that can make it to Florida," she insisted.

I thought he sounded like quite the catch, even before I spent a week spent scouring the craigslist for a replacement car, where I discovered that people actually post ads that read, "transmission out, but OTHERWISE a great car." Um. Define great? Wouldn't that include a working transmission?

Camaro, you say? All the way to Florida? I wonder if he'd take it out in trade.

Check Engine Light
Pink Socks and Candy
2003: Car Trouble
My First Car