Things That Are in my Stomach

Time to play: Things That are in my Stomach right now.

Most importantly: is there funnel cake?
YES. Yes there is (thanks to cousin Keegan and wife cousin Cara).

Is there blueberry pie?
Yes.

Is there sesame garlic green beans?
Yep.

Caesar salad?
You bet.

Goldfish (the crackers) -- uh huh.

Corn pudding? Certainly.

Country ham dip? Mmm-hmm.

And so much more.

I've been through a lot since the crushing disappointment when MayFest failed to deliver the long-promised funnel cakes. (Yes, they were promised. I didn't just HOPE they would be there. Designated representatives SAID they would be there. Apparently, they were misled.)

I wasn't KIDDING about how upset I was. Cousin Keegan and Cousin Cara can tell you all about the FunnelCakeTourette's they were unfortunate enough to witness (as the first arrivals at the fest, they were faced with the overwhelming task of alerting the masses, AND then being the first ones to see me in person to break the news).

Torch wielding villagers had to be amassed to voice the collective displeasure.

I wrote about it all (denial, rage, etc...) but even that wasn't very therapeutic. I wrote about Randy Pausch's three elements of an appropriate apology:

1. What I did was wrong.
2. I'm sorry I hurt you.
3. How do I make this right?

(That was easy; I have it printed on index cards and hand it to everyone I date. For number 3, I usually recommend jewelry, or high-end electronics -- but in this case, a simple offer of a few funnel cakes on the house at a future fest would've more than sufficed.)

My ten-year old niece called on Mother's Day to express solidarity, and to offer this advice: "Bitter Aunt R... I think you need a boyfriend. 'Cause you are wayyyy too wrapped up in this funnel cake thing."

I explained boyfriends come and go, but funnel cakes are forever.