Saturday, October 17, 2009

I Love You, Comma, Man

I finally saw The Hangover today with my pal Brooke. It only took us about four months to coordinate our respective schedules. We initially planned to go see "I Love You, Comma, Man" -- but waited so long it hit Dollar Theatre...then DVD... and it'll probably be on HBO next.

I don't have all that many friends who want to see bromances with me. Mostly they find 'em tasteless and juvenile (because they are).

It's not that I'm a 12-year-old boy --- there were a few things in the Hangover that were too gross for me (namely, unattractive nekkid man-asses, and throwing up -- I can't watch either of those two things). But I do like movies where boys talk like they really talk, and act like they really act. A tiger in the bathroom? C'mon. That's funny. Like Porky's, for grown-ups. I'm just so happy to see the R-Rated Comedy come back. From Wedding Crashers on thru the Judd Apatow trilogies, it pleases me. And I'm glad to see the comedy title wrested from the Farrelly Brothers (who were just gross -- no scatology please).

One of the major flaws in the otherwise enjoyable I Love You, Comma, Man was the fact that it was hamstrung by a PG-13 rating when it should've been the hard raunchy R it wanted to be.

The premise was what I was really interested in --a guy who needs to make guy friends. I identified cause my goal this year was to make new girlfriends. I've always argued that it is MUCH harder to make new girlfriends than boyfriends, and it's even more true in my 40s. Boys are easy to come by and there's a million acceptable prescribed courses for meeting one and draggin' him back to the cave. By and large, they come along quietly. As in the movie though, finding those same-sex BFF kinda friendships is much harder. It's not like anyone really offers to "fix you up" with a new shopping/movie/dinner buddy. After 40, everyone's married and has kids and new bonds are harder to form. And sometimes the friends you do have move away; they never leave you a temp; and these are hard positions to fill.

Today: I'm just glad the R-Rated Comedy is back and that I have a new buddy who likes them as much as I do. Brooke is a center-sitter and I'm an aisle-sitter, but luckily, there wasn't much of a crowd, so I was ok in the middle. (Though even in a theater with maybe 12 people in it, it stood to reason that six of them would come and sit right in front of us, while another plopped down at the end of our aisle, blocking my Exit. Cattle.)

I did have the same criticism of The Hangover that I did in I Love You, Comma, Man -- both needed to know when to splurge on the soundtrack. A properly timed dose of rap so filthy that the mainstream has embraced it is almost always hilarious. Judd Apatow knows this.

Which brings me to my next mission ... to bring back the R-rated sex romps that got us all laid in college -- 9 1/2 Weeks, No Way Out, or The Big Easy. Hell, even Fatal Attraction and The Last Seduction started off with good sex... before it took an admittedly unfortunate turn. Where are those movies today?

How many of us were inspired to do the Kim Basinger striptease to "You Can Leave Your Hat On?"... How many of us tried the blindfolded eating in front of the fridge (hint: skip the honey; you will NEVER get it off).

What are we supposed to use to lure boys over to the DVD caves now with 42 inches of HD goodness? The best I could come up with recently was Little Children (Kate Winslet has some graphic, hot extramarital sex with Patrick Wilson).... and that choice is problematic seeing as of the main plots is about a SEX OFFENDER who returns to their smalltown.

The R Rated comedies are a good start. You've made us laugh Hollywood. Now, please, for the love of God, get everybody laid. It's the least you can do for seven bucks ($20 if you want popcorn).

Ditch the PG13s and some of the animated fare and give a few screens back to the grownups. We have more money than the kids. Throw us a bone. Pardon the expression.

Thanks Kim Basinger!

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