Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Please Synch Devices

It's still October (and therefore birthday festival month), so I'm still within the appropriate time frame to be finally trying out one of my shiny pink birthday presents: my very first iPod of any kind (I think it's called a Shuffle, and is sometimes disparaged because it only holds 500 songs -- but that is 500 more than I had to start with, and I am now its fiercest defender). Welcome to 2001!

I showed it to one of my musically-inclined ex-es the weekend I got it, and the first thing out of his mouth was "hey, it matches all your other pink appliances." (He always said they were for me, but frankly, I think he was just tryin' to cut back on his workload; c'mon, the guy was LAAAAzy).Then he leaned over and put his own state-of-the-art iPod earphhones into my ears and asked what I thought of the sound. I had to admit, bigger was better. He said, "well, I still owe you a birthday present, so why don't I get you a set of these?" What I shoulda said, of course, was, "don't be ridiculous; you don't OWE me a birthday present." What I said instead was, "why thank you; I'm registered at Best Buy."

I confessed immediately that I had no intention of putting good music on it -- nothing but guilty pleasures (what else would inspire you to run, etc.) There is no Robert Earl Keen. There is no Steve Earle. No Ryan Adams. There's not even any Dwight Yoakam, though he can be mighty dance-y. (As one of my cop buddies leaned over and whispered at a Dwight concert years ago, "I ain't gay or nothin'... but I'd fuck him." Which is what I call high praise. I thought my date that night looked a little unduly panic-stricken at the comment and was briefly afraid he might be either homophobic or gay, or both. I asked him about it later and he reassured me, "Nah. I was just afraid when he said he WOULD fuck Dwight, you were gonna say you HAD." Looking back, I guess that was his indirect way of asking if I'd ever had sex with Dwight Yoakam. Which is just silly. If you want a direct answer, you should ask a direct question.)

So the first song I had the Intern load was "Brandy," the 1970s classic by Looking Glass. (Go Navy.)

What? Did you think I was going to do it myself? Please. What am I? An animal.

But then when I tried to play it later after Intern left, all I got was some digital voice saying "please synch device."

Intern came in today and fixed it, after I sternly reminded him of his confidentiality obligations about not disclosing its contents. He got it working and as I fumbled for some kind of on-switch, this is the song that exploded inside my head. I don't know what my expression was, but from the look on his face, it musta been just like the monkeys in 2001 when the jawbone goes up and comes back down an iPod (or a blackberry, or a pink laptop -- cause I have these experiences a lot). I may not be an early adopter, but I am an enthusiastic convert.

I only know this song because this band had a cameo on House a few seasons ago. I didn't even know if they were a real band, but I googled it. Not cause they were so talented, but because the lead singer reminded me of a bass player from my 20s. My bass player was a lot taller and a lot cuter, and he wouldn't be caught dead writing or playing pop music.

I suspect youtube knows what it's doing running an ad to the right of the video hawking the dangers of unintended pregnancy.

Speaking only for myself, everytime I hear this song I'm replaying that entire summer in my head, from the first moment that bass player showed up on my deck and said, "Wanna try somethin' different?" Guilty pleasure doesn't even begin to cover it.

Oh, hell, don't look so shocked. It's not like I bought the ringtone.

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