Thursday, October 29, 2009
Top Chef Spicy Twitter Style
I don't usually watch TV live (like an animal), I TiVo it and watch it later without the commercials (like a civilized human being). So I was late to the Twitter firestorm that erupted during last night's Top Chef.
I tuned in around 3 am and observed this exchange where @PerlLawLex (she has protected tweets so she can either let you in or not; it's up to her), observed: "Tom's got it all BUT heard he might be dating Padma which kinda makes him less attractive."
I promptly chimed in (not that anybody was listening at 3 am), "Whaaaat? Tom just had a new baby with his wife in August?? Dating Padma?! She's pregnant! How can she date TOO?!"
As soon as I typed it, I realized how many logical fallacies there were in that statement. For example, Tom's new baby and Padma's new pregnancy could simply be an indication that Tom -- in addition to being a good chef -- might be extraordinarily fertile. He could be impregnating people from across the kitchen, or over the GE Monogram® appliances. Perhaps he simply assisted Padma in her longtime fertility struggle against The Heartbreak of Endometriosis via a handy GladWare receptacle? (That show is more brand-ed than Martha Stewart and nothing would surprise me.)
Videogum) but I was too distracted by the Twitter-generated subtext to even waste my usual time wishing either CancerGirlRobin or SaveechBeechJenn would go home. I barely even had time to notice (for the first time) that my Sweet Young Thang Bryan is only THIRTY-THREE and thus a practically felonious object of my (admittedly chaste) Chef Crush.
As naive as I am (How could Tom be Padma's baby-daddy when he just had a baby with his wife?!) even I got a little suspicious after last night's repartee.
Padma: "It's like a little prick on the tip of my tongue..."
[Natalie Portman and assorted nobody-vegetarian-friends laugh uproariously and trade spicy rejoinders.]
Tom: "It went from a little prick to 'big in the mouth.'" [Blushes furiously. Anonymous-Vegetarians continue to laugh.]
Geez. Get a room you two.
Take THAT GladWare.