Mom Does Know Best

She knew what my mother did not: either you want a clean floor or you want to use a mop, you can't have both.

--David Sedaris 

I made the mistake of bragging to my Mom earlier today about how much housework I had gotten done today, on top of a looooong day at work (that New Year motivation? -- not a resolution/more of a theory, about not working on Sundays hasn't gone so well). Two loads of laundry, two loads of dishes, etc.

The thing is, maybe I implied earlier in the week that I had some complaint with the way she judges -- and I really don't. Today, I did the laundry the way she told me to, and I think the whites are whiter and the brights brighter. The dress she picked out for me this week is, in fact, better than the dress I picked out this week.  It's lucky I got both. I shoulda led with that, and quit while I was ahead.

But I had to mention the dishes. "How do you even do two loads of dishes?" Well, I explained, while I was running the first load, I went through her room and the living room and found an array of glasses I didn't even know I had, which I stacked in the sink, and then ran later.

"Really? Because, why are YOU allowed to stack dishes in the sink? You don't let ME stack dishes in the sink. Everytime I do it, I get a lecture: 'this is how people get bugs,' and 'do you think we have magic elves who are going to transfer the dishes from the sink to the dishwasher?'" (It's funny how she can do my voice exactly.)

So I told her, "well Mom, as long as you are under my roof, I guess you're going to have to live with my rules. And in this house, we don't leave dishes in the sink."

That is just the payback she gets for grounding me from Chico and the Man that one time.