Saturday, February 13, 2010

Golden Girls of the Half Pipe?

As with American Idol, I pledge that I will not watch one single second of Olympics coverage unless it is purely by accident.

I did see one commercial that promised "Golden Girls of the Half Pipe," which gave me a Princess Bride moment of "I don't think that means what you think it means."  I heard on "The News" (using the term loosely) some Athlete got a bruise and was treating it with butter....or maybe cheese (I think she should try some bag balm and horse liniment and that oughtta clear it right up).

I guess the whole thing's happening in... Canada (?) which brings back sketchy memories of my time in Montreal, where I had a hard time with the exchange rate (I kept turning into Rainman every time I tried to buy anything -- "a candy bar? bout a hunnerd dollars? y-y-y-yeah hunnerd dollars.") Luckily, my Seattle colleagues thoughtfully provided me with translations of all my conference materials "Pardon, mais le Francais c'est la langue des non circonsis transsexuals. Pouvons-nous aller a le lieu de drague?" And when I tried my own college French every chance I got "les Nips du Fromage?" it turned out that every concierge inexplicably spoke Japanese....and only Japanese. I don't have fond memories.

So what I know of the Olympics so far I learned from  Aimee Mann's twitter which I found about 2 in the morning, as I find so much that's good in life, via Kevin Depew's Twitter (from whom all good things come).

(I say with the benefit of hindsight that you can't build a relationship on Insomnia, but there are worse predicates, and you certainly can build all kindsa other stuff, as I've been quickly discovering).

So what AimeeMann said was "Oh, come on and LIGHT this thing already. What's that? Uh oh. No one is exempt from Spinal Tap cliches!" (among other things).

AimeeMann was the favorite singer-songwriter of my near-husband from my late 30s (he's the one I threw back so he could have kids, so I try to stay a little vague on him --- I think a lotta my 30something ex-es were into AimeeMann, so it's not much of an identifying factor). He was a good guy and is now a good dad, so it makes me happy to know AimeeMann turns out to be smart and funny and not just hot. (Don't think the same could be said of the wife he ended up with unfortunately, but she was willing to have his baby, whereas I wouldn't even be willing to hold one for him while he put on his jacket.) I admit I kinda judge people by who's on their "too much sexy" list.

Now, this whole thing Kevin Depew has going with Lake Bell, on the other hand.... well, I might have to think about that one. Though he gets points for writing, "Washington DC right now has more snow than all of Canada. Right out of the gate that makes it America 1 - Olympics 0."

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