"The Professionally Unmarried"

Every Monday should start with a good laugh, and this arrived in the morning's inbox from longtime E-Husband, Walter:

Last night I dreamed you were getting married. A strange dream for someone who never has met you in person, which probably accounts for the fact that you appeared in the dream as a bossy little poof of blond hair with a southern-enough accent and no other distinguishing features -- well, other than the bossiness. Who were you marrying? I don't know. But I do know that you were ordering people around and telling them who would accompany whom to the ceremony. You assigned one of your pseudo-hubbies to escort my wife and assigned me another partner and said I would have to be "down in front" and not sitting with my wife. You were overseeing this mix-and-match with a distinct (read that "bitchy") edge to your voice. But take heart. There was no marriage. Simply an endless rearranging of the guests. I remember thinking: Maybe this is what becomes of the "professionally unmarried."

That sounds about right: no groom, no marriage -- just a big party with a complicated guest list, and me bossing people around!