Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Mardi Gras

Lenten Season has really never been a joke around my house, except for all those years in college where I insisted I was giving up Self Control.

I have a lot, and I typically do give something up -- and then I also add on a mitzvah (excuse the ecumenical inappropriateness) where I do good as well. 

Over the years, I have tried to give up caffeine (unsuccessfully) and all manner of sweets and desserts (successfully).

This time last year, I unilaterally gave up sex -- in that, I gave it up, without really taking a vote from the one and only guy who was going to be impacted. He was not happy. It even meant he missed Birthday Sex -- though he did get the Birthday Menu (blood-orange sesame seared ahi). My understanding was that the substitution was unacceptable -- but with all the oral surgery stitches, I'm not sure how much use I coulda been to him anyway. Love's one thing; dry sockets are another, and suction is the ONE thing the surgeon forbids (I couldn't even drink out of a straw). And this wasn't the typical Catholic-Girl-Everything-But -Abstinence -- there was no nudity until Easter (and boy that brunch crowd sure cleared outta Denny's in a hurry).

I wouldn't do it again. Different year. Different guy. And besides, I think I learned what I needed to learn out of that. (Which was "Ouuuuuuuuuuuchhhhhhhh.")

My mom is giving up chocolate and caffeine (near and dear to her heart). I don't think she's a quid-pro-quo Episcopalian, but ever since she's been diagnosed with pulmonary fibrosis, she doesn't fuck around when it comes to religious ritual. She hosted the Valentine/Shrove celebrations at their parish this year --- a Bake Sale where all the men made Valentine Desserts and they were auctioned to the highest bidder. (My Stepdad made the wretched Yellow Bourbon Cake with Milk Chocolate Frosting that I disastrously attempted for Spud's Birthday, and all I can say is, these people must really take a lot on faith  if they paid money for THAT, cause it was hideous) Then she staked my stepdad to a kissing booth and made $30 bucks there. He got her an exquisite diamond for Valentine's Day, so at some point along the way, I wonder if he noticed just how much his life depended on her dragging him through this current bout of esophageal cancer. They're a pair those two -- I guess nothing bonds you quite like repeated bouts with terminal disease).

I have a couple hours to make up my mind about what to give up this year. Suggestions?
(It won't be Ambien.)


  1. I was uber-impressed when you gave up swearing for Lent, it was indeed a herculean feat!

  2. Forgot about that. It was expensive. Had to put a buck in the swear-jar for Charity every time I slipped up.