Saturday, December 19, 2009

I Got Carded!

I think I'm going to start spending more time in my neighborhood bars -- which happen to be campus-adjacent. Apparently, the ABC compliance/enforcement personnel spend more time there than downtown -- because on my way in the door to see my favorite band last night, I was stopped by the bouncer.

I was still fishing around in my purse for money when the people I was with paid the cover charge, and I started to walk on in. But he stopped me again. "I need to see some ID, ma'am."

I smiled indulgently, and said, "awww, really?" and kinda kept walking. But he stuck to his guns, "I need you to show it to me."

The moment was admittedly dimmed a bit when I saw my friend the guitarist, and giddily waved him over, "George! George! This young man wants to see my ID!" The look of moderate disdain and disbelief on his face nearly burst my bubble, but I just refused to deflate. (George is at least as old as I am, maybe even older... if you can imagine.)

For the whole rest of the night, the band sounded a little bit better; the ginger ale tasted a little more sparkly; and those middle-aged women with spare tires wearing midriff tops got a total pass from me. I even expressed a moment of concern for the physical safety of "the spotlight dancers" -- the unhinged middle-aged couple dancing with drunken (and probably hallucinogenic) abandon right in front of the band (including somersaults; the poor lady was already wearing a cast on one arm and it seemed apparent how she'd gotten it).

But as George rightly pointed out, "What are ya, a fuckin doctor? Whaddayoucare?"

It didn't take me long to post my newly-carded status online, which drew responses ranging from "awesome" to "congrats" to "woot."

Except for our mascot Thom, who commented "you shit us" (combining at once the marvelous brevity of twitter with its unfortunate sidekick: scatology).

That is on my disfavored list of profanities, which is why I did not respond with "I shit you Not."

Luckily, I didn't have to. Jupiter promptly chimed in with, "the correct response was, but of course, my dear. You look so young and innocent."

He is getting extra bourbon balls in his stocking this Christmas.

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