Monday, December 7, 2009

Would I Like a Nice Joke? Why no, I would not.

I just cleaned out 48 spam comments -- which is highly irritating -- but sometimes a little fascinating.

Aside from the ones that begin with "I have a nice joke for you," there are half dozen for Viagra, and La Viagra (which is apparently its Fronch counterpart, though I think it should be "Le.")  Here's what I think about Viagra. I don't like it. It's only come up (so to speak) a couple times, and I found it... a little insulting. I am sure it is a marvelous medical miracle for the men who need it post-war-injury or surgery (my stepdad had that surgery, and honestly, I heard a little more about it than I want to; nobody wants to know what their MOM thinks of Viagra. Ewww).

Here's what I also know about Viagra (thanks Dr. Oz) I'm paraphrasing here, but this is more or less what I got: Viagra spiffs up the nitric oxide release. And here's the thing about that, if you have a nitric oxide problem, don't just medicate it. You might have something wrong with your heart for Chrissake. That's a symptom. Don't confuse this with medical advice, I'm just sayin. My personal concern wasn't for cardiac health in those few (very few) cases -- my concern was that maybe I'd lost mah touch. (I certainly hope they're all dead by now... because that would be enormously reassuring.)

There are several more ads for "tramadol," which, as I understand it is Painkillers for Addicts. The idea, I think, is that you can't get high from it? Here's what I think about that: if they're spam-marketing it, somebody has figured out a way to get high from it.

There are almost a dozen that say "buy cheap  Xanax, no prescription," and I can only assume they've never tried Xanax... because it runs about 7 bucks. That's with a prescription. Without a prescription, I have a feeling  it is still relatively inexpensive, just judging from the indiscriminating footwear choices evidenced by the robust traffic that takes place near the bus stop outside my office.

I found a few more for "overnight Ambien," and of course, as Ambien fans know, "overnight" would still be too late. When you want Ambien, you want it R.F.N.

Then I saw a spam for "Buspar without a prescription!" which made me chuckle nostalgically -- reminded of Robert Earl Keen's observation when a friend mentioned a beer, and he recalled "whyyyy, I hadn't had a Schlitz beer.... since elementary school." (I can't even believe they still make BuSpar.)

1 comment:

  1. I'm pretty sure it's le Viagra over there in France. Yep. Just checked. Stoopid spammers.