Friday, December 4, 2009

At the Table

[this post reads 8:22 pm EST; it was actually posted at 11:22. Intern will have to figure out setting the blog clock -- but this way gives me more time to meet my midnight deadlines, per my NaBloPoMo repeat/challenge: 30 posts in 30 days.]

-----11:22 pm EST------
I know it's rude to blog at the table -- but we might not get home by Midnight.

On my way here, I walked past a conversation that included this, "Dude: we should start a website -- Masturbatin' and Cryin'."

I paused, and they immediately quietened down, waiting for me to pass. I just leaned and asked "domain name?"(Because that is a site I would go to.)

 1:15 am
It seems like a slide show of the evening would be better than a blog. But I don't know how to post a slideshow, so I can post a few pics instead.

For example, these are the boots I wore. They're very painful, but they are excruciatingly cute too, and I had to step up my game not because of the Hot Guys any number of us might've encountered --- but because Tha Gays came out with us tonight, and in their spare time, they judge people. Junior Gays Jupe and Buñuel were along, but so were the Senior/Food/Power Gays and if I ever embarrassed them with a Twitterista/Fashionista Faux Pax they would disown me on the spot.

There were so many of us it was hard for us to initially integrate the straights and gays and we had a brief unfortunate flashback to "separate but equal" but it was all resolved when Bluebelle took custody of the Junior Gays and I took the Food Gays and we were eventually able to effect a merger.

[This is Bluebelle's Drrrrty Martini, which brought harmony, happiness and peace.]
Between all the dirty bloggers, the Front Porchers, the gays, junior gays, and food gays, etc. who had shown up, we quickly outgrew the place and headed to the second destination farther downtown.  It was on the walk there that I passed a conversation that included this, "Dude: we should start a website -- Masturbatin' and Cryin'." I paused only to ask "domain name?"

Our second destination gave us a fabulous balcony window seat which just about has to be the coolest table in town (if not for the fact that heat rises -- making it about 300 degrees in there; I first  thought reading all that Oprah People Magazine had maybe sent me into perimenopause.) This is Jupe's drink.

Over the course of the evening I learned a few more porn bookmark recommendations for the BlackBerry (shout out to the Junior Gays for JerkYourTube -- sorry mates, no links; don't want to get ranked as an over-18 blog), untold gossip (seriously: it will remain untold); and I think we all reached the more or less  mutual simultaneous conclusion that "hot mess" has jumped the shark. (Though closer inspection on the way out revealed she probably was just an unattractive girl, and not in fact, a tranny.)

Surprisingly, I came home with the most monstrous swag bags ever. Chef Tom and MichaelJansenMiller brought me a summer's worth of labor in a bag (including Moroccan Preserved Lemons!! There woulda been no pesto at Ace's house this year had those two not stepped in with basil rescue plants after the Great Crop Failure of 2009) and then frontporch friend Jan brought me HOMEMADE MEATBALLS -- after discussing her recipe at book club the other night, I didn't think I could pull it off. I tend to scorch meatballs, and then give up and just make meat-sauce instead (Check it out, she even put a little sprig of fresh flat-leaf parsley on top!)

As the baby of the group, we conferred over dinner and decided Bunuel has so much culinary promise that he probably should apprentice with the Food Gays to see if that's where his calling is leading him (he knows he can't declare his specialization as a Gay until he turns 25... hey, I don't make the rules). Jupe has shown incredible perseverance as a Fashion Gay, not letting his handicap of color-blindness deter him from his 30-something destination as Power Gay.

In accordance with the Leave No Man Behind Policy, posses were dispatched back downtown after it was discovered via Twitter that Margueritte had been towed (anyone who thinks twitter is only filled with people chronicling their breakfast schedule can now suck it). Her husband arrived first and they are making their arduous way home now.


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